


Means to an End

by Voib



Series: Aro/Ace Dean [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Aromantic Asexual Castiel, Aromantic Asexual Dean Winchester, Aromantic Castiel, Aromantic Dean Winchester, Asexual Castiel, Asexual Dean Winchester, Charlie is gay. Like always, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, LGBTQ Characters, M/M, Modern AU, Pride Events, Romance Repulsed Dean, Sam is a sap, Sharing a Bed, sex repulsed dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voib/pseuds/Voib
Summary: Dean didn't understand a majority of media, why Sam and Charlie liked Titanic so much or why Valentine’s Day even existed. He knew that people had relationships that were somehowdifferentthan friendships. He had spooned his friends before, he had kissed them and sent some cheeky pics for them to review. Dean understood sex appeal in theory and he knew what it was for but Dean only dressed up to makehimselffeel good.When people kissed in public the gross sucking-tongue-spit noises made him physically gag and he’d been glared at more than once. People just really didn't understand how many bacterias and diseases were spread through mouth to mouth contact. He’d pecked a few people on the cheeks but it was never in a disgusting spit-sharing way.





	Means to an End

**Author's Note:**

> Dean is based off of me. I just kinda expressed my thoughts and feeling through him. This was written throughout the day, so its kinda brief and meant to stand alone. It's possible that I might write a second chapter but that depends on how many people read it.

Dean knew he was aromantic and asexual (yes, they were 2 different things. He’d had to explain about 15 million times now). All of his friends knew, his brother knew, even people he didn't know that well seemed to know; it wasn't a secret. Most people couldn't wrap their heads around the fact that Dean never wanted a relationship or a quick fuck. They acknowledged it, but they could never truly understand. 

Some people thought that he was robotic or some kind of sociopath. He would kindly correct these people and then promptly cut them out of his life. 

Dean didn't understand a majority of media, why Sam and Charlie liked Titanic so much or why Valentine’s Day even existed. He knew that people had relationships that were somehow _different_ than friendships. He had spooned his friends before, he had kissed them and sent some cheeky pics for them to review. Dean understood sex appeal in theory and he knew what it was for but Dean only dressed up to make _himself_ feel good. 

When people kissed in public the gross sucking-tongue-spit noises made him physically gag and he’d been glared at more than once. People just really didn't understand how many bacterias and diseases were spread through mouth to mouth contact. He’d pecked a few people on the cheeks but it was never in a disgusting spit-sharing way. 

Sam said that he had misophonia or something. Dean didn't know enough to agree or not. 

Even when they welcomed Jess into the family, his mom pulled him aside and told him to stop wincing everytime that they kissed. It wasn't like Dean could help it, it was disgusting. Couldn't they just, like, not? You didn't have to kiss someone every 20 seconds. 

After the first night, Dean had to pull Sam into the bathroom and tell him that they had kissed _337 times_ throughout the night. Sam said that he would make an effort to do it less in front of Dean. _Thank god._

After the dinner and family time, they all settled down on the couch and decided to watch an action movie, some crap with Brad Pitt. 

Dean was so uncomfortable during the romance and sex scenes that he decided to go home for the night. He got into the driver's seat of his baby and pressed his head against the steering wheel. 

_What was so wrong with him that he couldn't even watch a movie with his family?_

_____________

And Dean started to feel robotic. He was limiting his brother’s love life and his family’s quality time. And he hated himself for it. 

Most days and Dean felt like he was cursed to never understand the world. The strange posters with pastel backgrounds and lovers embraced, book covers with ripped guys, even the stupid medication ads had people with kids and rings and a white picket fence with a dog. He hated it so much. Did the world not understand that that wasn't what life was about?

Dean did love things. He loved his family and his baby and his laptop. But he loved them all in the same way. He would never love them any differently. 

And Dean did feel lonely sometimes, he wanted to be loved by someone in more than just an awkward friends way and less than a romance-y way. He loved to cuddle and go out to eat, but he just didn't want the weight and expectations of a romantic relationship. He didn't go to bars anymore because people just seemed to try and gravitate to him and take him home. He didn't like predatory men and women to be eying him up for the whole night. And if he said no to their offers or drinks, they usually called him some degrading name and stomped away. 

So bars were out of the equation. 

Dean had gone to pride events with Charlie but even there people were too busy in a haze of romance that Dean wound up getting one too many free beers and wandered off into the nearest park. Public intoxication, his ass. Charlie found him when the sun had started to go down and he had partially sobered up. He wound up crying at Charlie’s feet while some homeless guys stared and then promptly left. She had to support his ass all the way back to the car where she drove them both home. 

Dean didn't go to pride anymore. 

Dean was lonely. He had gotten himself into some kind of permanent depression which could never be solved. He didn't really know what to do about it. Therapy was too risky -- some shrink would think that he had some kind of trauma problem and try to fix him. Dean used to think that he had witnessed some kind of trauma and had suppressed it but his life had been fine up until now. Dean was just programmed differently. 

So Dean had tried to gauge his reactions, keep his head down and fit in. It was just so hard; many people thought he was some kind of hard-to-get playboy. 

Eventually there was a stupid asexual convention that Charlie made him go to. He tried to convince her weeks beforehand that it was useless and that he would still be alienated -- he was aromantic too. But she woke him up at 7 in the morning on some saturday and forced him to put on his softest Zeppelin shirt and his best jeans and pushed him into the driver's seat of baby.

They arrived in under 15 minutes. The thing was held in the dilapidating armory where many veterans went to play poker on Sunday nights. They were greeted at the door by 2 older people who gave them both poorly folded packets and told him to walk where he pleased. Apparently the event was less like a convention and more like a workshop/get to know you program. Gross. 

He knew he was frowning when they entered the largest room in the center. Charlie elbowed him and told him to lighten up. He just sighed and continued glaring. 

They grabbed some Costco snacks and went into the nearest room with a sign on the door which said _Meet ‘n Greet_. By now, Dean can a constant mantra of _gross gross gross_ going through his head. He was not feeling social today and he didn't sleep well. 

After groaning internally, they entered the room and found about 3 other people inside. One was a middle aged lady who was talking to a teen and the third was a blue eyed guy sitting in the corner, probably sulking, while sipping on a cup of coffee. Charlie, being the extrovert she was, had immediately started talking to the 2 ladies and had left Dean alone, forcing him to socialize with Corner Guy. 

Corner Guy hadn't even looked up from where he was looking out the window when the door had opened. 

The likelihood that Dean would ever see these people again was nill. He could talk to them and embarrass himself before they would probably just forget about him. 

So Dean told his anxiety to go fuck itself with a cactus before he went over to the Corner Guy. 

“H-hi,” Dean started awkwardly. 

The Corner Guy looked up. 

“Hello.”

_This is literally like the first day of kindergarten! This was a bad bad bad idea!_

“I’m Dean. What's your name?” _Kindergarten all over again._

“Castiel. Why are you here?” The man seemed like he was staring at a single spot on Dean’s face and it made everything 15 times more awkward. 

“My friend dragged me along because she thinks I’m lonely person who never leaves the house,” Dean sighed, “she’s not 100% wrong.” 

“I see.” Castiel shifted in his seat. “My brother dropped me off and told me to ‘get some, but use my heart boner’ so… he’s probably at a bar by now,” Castiel explained. 

Dean laughed, “God, your brother sounds like a legend. What even is a heart boner?” 

“I’m not sure of that. It seems like something that he made up so only he would know the definition.”

“Of course… are you here because you're ace or an ally?”

“I’m ace. And aro. People usually think I’m an alien. You?” Castiel asked. 

“Hey, I’m aro ace too, but most people liken me to a robot,” Dean explained. 

“It's been mostly alien with me. Never a robot. I’ve always wondered why but I’ll never know, I guess,” Castiel said with a smile. 

Dean looked around and pulled up a chair. He put his hands in his lap. 

“What do you do for a living?” Dean queried. 

“I mostly do some writing or work at the coffee shop on 5th. Which ever happens to be easier.”

“Oh. I’m a mechanic at Singer’s Auto. I do all of the classic’s repairs and body work. What’s your favorite book?” Dean turned the topic. 

“I like _The Lord of the Rings_ a lot but _The Hobbit_ is just more uplifting, you know?”

“Me too. You’d like Charlie. She’s the friend that dragged me here. We have _Hobbit_ marathons like once a week. And we usually play some board games. Its great.” 

“That's awesome. I also think that Vonnegut is pretty wild. I’ve always liked the weirdness of _Cat’s Cradle_ ,” Castiel explained, “it's one of my favorites.”

“No way! I love _Slaughterhouse V_.” 

“That’s a good one. I’ve read it like 10 times,” Cas chuckled. 

“Honestly, me too. Just don't let my brother know. He doesn’t think I read,” Dean admitted. 

“Eh. There’s no shame is reading. The best content is always in books,” Cas said sincerely. 

“You're an interesting dude. Could I text you sometime?” Dean asked cautiously. 

“Sure. Can I just give you my business card? It has everything on it. You can text or call anytime,” Cas pulled a card out of his front pocket, “here. I’d say don't email. I never check it enough.” 

“Thanks Cas,” Dean stuck the card in his wallet. 

Charlie seemed to have finished her conversation with the other people in the room and started making her way over to Dean and Cas. 

“Dean, you ready to go? I want some ice cream and the shoppe is going to close if we don't hurry. Oh -- hello,” Charlie seemed surprised that another person was actually talking to Dean for once. 

“Hi. I’m Castiel, or Cas, as Dean seems to call me,” Cas smiled at Dean. 

“Cool, I’m Charlie. You want to come get some ice cream? Dena might have some dramatic ballad about his car but I could pay if you wanted?” Charlie offered. 

“You see, my car is classic ‘67 Impala which I rebuilt and upkeep myself, so it's very dear to my heart. Some even say that it's the only thing I’m capable of loving,” Dean grinned. 

“I’m intrigued. An aromantic person capable of love? Unheard of,” Cas said sarcastically. 

They all got up and put the chairs back before they exited the conventions center. 

“Damn. I might just fall in love too,” Cas averted his attention to Dean’s car. 

They all climbed in, Charlie in the front, Cas in the back, and Dean taking up the front seat. They drove over to the Slugs ‘N Snails Ice Cream Shoppe before they all got out and went inside. As usual, the place was packed, but the servers managed to get people in and out fast enough. 

Dean ordered rocky road, Charlie got strawberry and Cas got cookie dough. 

They all went to the parking lot where they sat on the hood of the Impala. 

“So, Charlie, why were you at the convention?” Cas inquired. 

“Well, my girlfriend had to work all day and Dean-o over here is one lonely guy. I figured that he could make some friends.” 

“Well mission accomplished,” Dean added, “Cas has unlocked a new layer of friendship: being able to listen to me relishing over my beautiful car.” 

“Hmm. Maybe Gabe was right, I did get a heart boner over the car and the ice cream. Maybe it's not such an insane term as we originally thought.” Cas squinted at his ice cream. 

“Maybe so. Let your brother know that I might use that sometime. Pretty soon it's gonna be the new thing, I know it,” Charlie surmised. 

“Yeah, sure. ‘I have a heart boner for you’. Romance is dead Charles, and you know it. Pretty soon Cas and I are gonna take over,” Dean noted with a little nod. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and a kudo and I'll love you forever :)


End file.
